高级医学英语阅读与写作Chapter Five
2012-07-14 11:01:33   来源：37度医学网   作者：  评论：0 点击：

Chapter Five  Techniques of Writing
   
 
I. Unity
 
Unity means “oneness”, a combination of sentences centered around a single central idea. In a well-organized unified paragraph, there is one central idea which is expressed in the topic sentence(s) of the paragraph, and every other sentence is related clearly to it (them). Sometimes there is no topic sentence(s) in a paragraph but sentences must be unified and have a single main thought. A simple example is given in the following to illustrate the definition. Which of the words in the following list does not seem to belong:
 
       guitar, trombone, saxophone,
       flute, clarinet, bugle
 
All of these words name musical instruments, but the guitar is a string instrument whereas all the others are wind instruments. In a paragraph about wind instruments, the guitar would be irrelevant. If we take the word “guitar” away, the group of words is unified, and vice versa.
Unity is obtained mainly through the devices of development, such as example and illustration, reason, classification, etc, which you learned in Chapter 2.
        
         Many countries helped to develop the automobile. The internal- combustion engine was invented in Australia and France was an early leader in automobile manufacturing. But it was in the United States after 1900 that the automobile was improved most rapidly. As a large and growing country, the United States needed cars and trucks to provide transportation in places not served by trains.
 
In the above paragraph, the first sentence is the topic sentence which indicates the main idea. The following paragraph develops by means of time sequence. So it is a unified paragraph. Read the following paragraph without any topic sentence:
 
Coke turned off the main road. He wanted to get rid of the police car as soon as possible. The army often used the area for manoeuvre and Coke remembered it from the days when he was a soldier. He knew there was a village down a side road. Just before he got there, he stopped and left the car in a field. Then he walked into the village itself. He wanted something and he was sure he could find it there.
 
All details mentioned in the above paragraph serve the description of his successive actions which are developed by sequence. It is still a unified paragraph though without a topic sentence.
But the following paragraph goes against the rule of unity:
               
         (1) The traditional pattern of the American family is changing. (2) Selecting a mate is more important than ever, yet many young people put far more thought into selecting a career or a new car than in choosing a life partner. (3) Most couples are having fewer children, and some are choosing to have no children at all. (4) The ease of divorce has left many families headed by one parent. (5) A greater acceptance of adoption by single parents, and of unwed mothers who keep their children, results in many more households headed by single persons. (6) And though grandparents may be living longer on average than their ancestors, fewer of them live within relatives' homes as they once did, making an extended family in one household.
 
The paragraph doesn't succeed. It establishes the main idea in sentence (1). Sentences (2) to (5) are listed to illustrate the change in the traditional pattern. But sentence (6) or at least part of the sentence seems irrelevant to the main idea because it digresses from the main idea. This paragraph is not unified.
Another way to maintain unity in a paragraph is brevity in unified paragraphs. It will be easier to maintain unity in your paragraphs if they are not overly long. Academic paragraphs may sometimes contain around 250 words, but it is difficult to keep a longer paragraph unified. In business letters and newspaper articles, shorter paragraphs are preferable because a page looks more inviting when white space breaks up a block of print. However, the decision to begin a new paragraph should always be guided by the principle of unity. Keeping related ideas together is more important than trying to divide paragraphs mechanically according to word count or other formulas.
The principle of unity applies to longer compositions as well as paragraphs. Always be willing to eliminate anything not related to the main idea. If one idea is not finished and another is inserted, the two together get nowhere. A paragraph that brings together two or three irrelevant thoughts usually doesn't make even a good one.
 
Revising paragraphs for unity
 
When you discover an irrelevant idea in a paragraph, there are several ways you can unify your paragraph.
 
 
            Omit the irrelevant part when you revise.
         If the irrelevant idea is important, place it in another paragraph and
            develop it more fully.
             Rewrite the topic sentence to include everything in the paragraph.
             Rewrite the irrelevant part so that it relates to the topic sentence.

  

The following paragraph illustrates the last of these options. Its main idea is that watching an angelfish can be relaxing. The details show a keen observation of the fish, but not all of these details apply to relaxations.
 
                            Relaxing with an Angel
               Do stress or nerves have you dreaming of a few moments' peace? An angelfish like mine could bring you some temporary relief. The angel's long, flowing fins gracefully propel him through the water as he swims to confront his latest Peeping Tom. Face to face, all you can see of him is a skinny line with curious eyes and amusing puckered lips. As he turns to show off his profile, the dully defined strips become deep black and glittery silver. Hovering behind the glass, he seeks to impress you by changing his color from silver to red, then yellow, then blue. But then, once he realizes you aren't going to feed him, the angel swims away to search for leftovers in the gravel.
 
The paragraph creates a pleasant picture, and every sentence contributes to the relaxing image except the last one. Graceful movements and beautiful colors could promote a feeling serenity in the viewer, but the angel's search for leftovers would not have the same effect. That last sentence, however, would relate to the topic sentence if it reads as follows:
        
        .... But the angel doesn't entertain and relax you without expecting some reward; once he realizes you aren't going to feed him, he swims away to search for leftovers in the gravel.
 
Linking the last detail to the idea of a reward for the angel's services places it nicely within the bounds of the topic sentence.    
 
II.Coherence
 
   By coherence is meant logical connection and organization of words and sentences. The word cohere means “to stick together.” In a coherent paragraph or composition, sentences are stuck in such a way that each sentence seems tied to the sentences before and after it. Similarly, in a coherent essay, the paragraphs are linked in such a way that the reader moves easily and smoothly from one paragraph to another. In a word, sentences in a paragraph and paragraphs in an essay are arranged in clear, logical order and transitions are smooth and natural.
There are several transitional techniques for achieving coherence within a paragraph or a passage.
       
1. Pronouns  Pronouns are the most commonly used device for achieving     coherence. They include:
 
      •  Definite pronouns:  he, they, we, us, you, it, she, our, theirs, ...
             •  Indefinite pronouns: one, someone, everyone, anyone, ... all, another, other, both, each, either, most, few, ...
             •  Demonstrative pronouns:  this, that, these, those, and such
       
        2. Transitional expressions  Transitional words and expressions are especially useful for showing logical relationships between sentences. Here are some transitional words and expressions, grouped according to their logic:
           
              Addition: and, and then, moreover, also, furthermore, besides, too, again, in addition, equally important, another, next, first, second,, third, in the first place, in the second place, finally, last, ...
             Comparison: similarly, likewise, in like manner
  Contrast: but, yet, and yet, however, still, nevertheless, otherwise, in contrast, on the other hand, on the contrary, even so, notwithstanding, for all that, nonetheless, despite this, in spite of this
            Result: therefore, as a result, consequently, thus, hence, then, accordingly  
Summary or intensification: in other words, that is, as I have said, in fact, indeed, as a matter of fact, to tell the truth, in any event, to sum up, in brief, in short, in conclusion, on the whole
             Time: soon, now, later, afterward, in the meantime, meanwhile, in the past, once, formerly
       Example: for example, for instance, to illustrate, as an illustration
 
        There are also transitions of place, (for example, nearby) and of purpose (for example, for these reasons), and other miscellaneous ones (such as of course and after all).
        The following paragraph uses pronouns and transitional expressions, and these have been bolded to help you recognize them.
 
               Later, he tries to tell others, but he has trouble doing so. In the first place, he can find no human words adequate to describe these unearthly episodes. He also finds others scoff, so he stops telling other people. Still, the experience affectshis life profoundly, especially his views about death and its relationship to life.
 
3. Key words  By keeping a paragraph focused on an important idea, repetition of key words or key structures can help tie a paragraph together. Similarly, a writer, can use echo words, or words closely related in meaning. For example, a writer may repeat the word violence several times as a key word. Echo words for violence might bekill, slaughter, attack, murder, maim, and so on. Here are some examples in which some key structures are repeated:
           
                At school I wear my new clothes. At home, I put on old ones.
                As an industry, TV is very successful; as an art, it can be much improved.
 
4. Parallel structure  Coherence is achieved by repeating similar structural form of words, phrases or sentences which should belong to the same grammatical class or level. Parallel structures can be signaled by use of coordinate conjunctions and correlative conjunctions.
 
             Coordinate conj.                   Correlative conj.
 
                 and     but                       both ... and
                 ornor                       either... or
                 for      whereas(while)                  neither... nor
                                                 not only ... but also
                                                 not ... but
 
Parallel sentence structure can also be used for effective comparison and contrast, as in the following paragraph.
 
We blame the U.S.S.R. for invading Afghanistan. They blame us for invading Grenada. We blame them for human rights violations. They blame us for providing "abnormal" living conditions for the athletes. We blame them. They blame us. We were very proud of boycotting the 1980 Moscow Olympics on principle. It seems to me that we should be just as proud of the Soviet Union for boycotting the 1984 Los Angeles Games on principle.
 
         The writer propels the reader forward with his logical flow. By establishing a pattern, he helps the reader to anticipate a similar pattern in later sentences. Yet he avoids monotony in the pattern by varying the length of his sentences.
 
                    Correct parallelism
 
        The basis for parallelism lies in the principle of composition that similar ideas should be expressed in similar form. You should balance nouns with nouns, adjectives with adjective, prepositional phrases with prepositional phrases, main clauses with main clauses, and so on. Here are some examples:
 
             Parallel nouns: We are neglecting infinity for infinitesimals.
Parallel adjectives: We are neglecting thesignificant for the trivial.
Parallel infinitives: We are inclined to neglect important concerns andtopursue trivial ones.
Parallel clauses: Every man has three characters ―that which he exhibits, that which he has,and that which he thinks he has.
Parallel prepositions: They set an examplein word and in deed.
 
Faulty parallelism
           
        The parallel structure must have similar grammatical form. Items in a series, as we have seen, should be parallel. When they are not, or when some dissimilar structures are treated as a series, faulty parallelism results. Notice the difference in these two sentences:
 
Parallel: Government of the people, by the people, and for the people shall not perish from the earth.
Faulty: Government of the people, conducted by the people, and which responds to the electorate, will be around for a long time.
 
        Abraham Lincoln's words, in the first sentence, are eloquent, framed in a parallel series of prepositional phrases. The second sentence, in contrast, contains faulty parallelism because it consists of dissimilar grammatical structures: a prepositional phrase, a participle phrase and an adjective clause.
        You can check a sentence for faulty parallelism by aligning the items treated as a series:
      
Parallel: Human beings are far more complex, more intelligent and more interesting than rats.
 
                            Human being are far     more complex
                                                                  more intelligent
                                                                  more interesting than rats.
 
Faulty: Human beings are complex, interesting and can reason.
                                  
                             Human beings   are    complex
                                                   interesting
                                            can reason.
      
       In the second example, complex and interesting are parallel adjectives, are complex and can reason are parallel predicates, but the three items are not all parallel at the same point.
        To correct faulty parallelism, you can either make the parallelism correct by putting coordinate and correlative conjunctions between similar grammatical structures or eliminate the need for parallel structures by changing the sentence patterns. Here are some sentences with faulty parallelism and two ways to correct them: